Journal Entry 19

Date: Wednesday, July 31 , 2024

Medicine: Huachuma

Dose: Full cup of peaceful medicine + sip 

Experience:

Brothers day…

I have 2 older brothers I am not close with. I would do almost anything for them, but we have almost nothing in common and if we weren’t related we would never be friends.

I realize I can have a relationship with them, but it won’t be artificial love. I will always honor our brotherhood, but I accept that they are who they are and nothing else has to happen.

I accept my current relationship with them, but I am open to a better one.

After my dad passed away through my intervention, my 2 brothers and my sister took our mom away for a long weekend to grieve and heal. I was excluded and asked to check on mom’s cat. This hurt very deeply at the time and I assumed they blamed me for dad’s death. I realized today that they simply thought I was ok. I put up such a strong front making the decision, contacting the family and friends, and arranging the funeral with Rita’s help that they thought I didn’t need the healing.

I realized that the purpose I served for my parents was really my purpose to the family.

I am at peace with what they did now and no longer as hurt. I can forgive them this.

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